As a doula collective that interviews nearly every weekend we have noticed a trend when it comes to partners. Some pregnant woman come alone with a list, others come with their partners, others want to know if they are comfortable in a room with us. What seems more predictable is the dads (partners)
#1- “Whatever you want honey
This dad (partner) makes things easy for doulas. Mom wants a doula, he says “whatever you want honey” and they hire us. The challenge is a doula is also there for dads and partners, so it’s important to for them to be at the prenatal appointments learning along with mom. “Whatever you want honey” doesnt meant dads and partners dont have to be involved. It simply entails some education for both mom AND dad.
#2- “What is this going to cost”
Sure, some people can have sticker shock. Doulas can be expensive. When you add all the prenatals, the hours with a family during their birthing time and a postpartum visit, you can see our hourly wage isn’t making us millionaires, we are making a living wage. Talk to your doula about payment plans or if they offer giftcards and ask that Auntie of yours to pitch in instead of he buying you yet another set of bibs.
#3-“I can be your doula”
Yes your partner can be a great support and comfort you, this is a bond a doula can not acheive. We are not emotionally as connect with you as the person you have having a baby with. This is what a doula will help you tune in on as she guides you through being a support person. Doulas have seen many, many births and have education, experience and skills to back that up. Doulas work WITH dads.
Now there are definitely more than just 3 types of dads and partners, each dad is different and has their own skill set and experiences that doula try and discover to help them use their strengths at your birth. If you finf you are one of the 3 types of dads listed below we’d love to chat with you. “Let’s learn more about doulas” is the type of dad we like to work with.
Happy Birthing, Nicole