surrey doula – Page 2

The language of Birth

April 21, 2015

During the training that Nicole and I attended in March, one of the most inspiring things we took away was considering the language we use when we speak about birth. As a culture, we have cultivated a respect for doctors and medical professionals for their dedication to education and experience. Along with this respect comes a natural obligation to use the language that is medically accepted, despite not being accurate or even inspiring.

Labour

Contraction

Delivery

When you think of these, they bring up visions of doctors and hospitals, amongst other things. Labour is a form of hard work, and though birthing women do tend to exert energy I wouldn’t call them “labourers”, likethey’re on a construction site. Contraction is a word that naturally makes you tense up your muscles unconsciously. When you actually think about what “contraction” means- an involuntary cringe without a set beginning or end- it makes your anticipation of it that much more brutal. Who wants to be in fear of their muscles contracting and expanding, without really knowing when it will end? Then there’s “delivery”… as if your baby will be presented to you on your doorstep wrapped in parchment and tied with string. Of course, when a doctor is the one attending your birth, they sometimes like to think that you need to be assisted through your birth with their help, not the other way around, and thus they will deliver your baby to you once they’ve saved you from your strong contractions and prevented you from labouring too hard with all of their tools.

In reality, you birth your baby. Birthing is individual and unpredictable. You feel sensations you’ve never felt before; they come in waves of varying lengths and durations, but they have a gradual flow of beginning.. to middle.. to end. It takes presence of mind to get through such a new feeling, and being afraid of what you will feel only increases the likelihood that you won’t like it. Support during these sensations can be incredibly helpful, especially from someone who understands the feeling and knows how to help you to manage the sensation yourself. When you start experiencing these sensations, you have entered into an incredible time: early birthing. Your body will continue to wave, and the waves will come sooner and last a bit longer together. These waves are the evidence that your body knows how to birth, and your baby is on their way into the world. You will then begin to actively birth, and soon reach transition, the incredible time when your body quiets down after all that sensation, and stores up some last energy before your baby is born. This is when your baby begins to help out a bit more. Your body won’t be able to control when your baby decides it is time; they push their way into the world in a way that isn’t stoppable. It’s a reflex that your baby triggers when the time has come, and then your body responds in an incredible way.

During this time, your care provider should be watching intently, but not interfering, unless it is medically necessary. A birthing mother and her baby have the rights as human beings to birth unassisted, untouched and uninterrupted. Through the entire of your birthing process, this stands true. Sometimes the opportunity will arise when medical intervention is necessary, and in these situations a care provider is a great asset to have around. But in a naturally occurring birth without induction, with a mother who is aware that what her body is doing is natural and amazing, babies tend to be born beautifully into their own mother’s arms …and they definitely aren’t wrapped in paper.

So, when you are imagining the birth you want for yourself and your baby, please consider how the language you surround yourself with affects the environment you birth in. Doctors or midwives, hospital or home, medical intervention or augmention, doulas or other birth supports- you have options to create an environment that promotes a positive birthing process,should you so choose. We encourage you to feel empowered about making decisions that will help you to rock your birth!

Happy Birthing- Erin

5 things you can do to afford a doula

April 18, 2015

Ways you can afford your doula!

1) Payment plans- Typically we get 50% of the payment when we are hired, this holds the spot in our calendar for your due date. The remaining 50% is due during the “due month”. We are able to adjust this if needed, just ask. We had a client pay $100 a month. This works for us. We are happy to chat about this and see what can work for both parties.

2) Baby shower/Blessingway- No one needs a 16th soother, more baby apparatuses or more onesies… All of this is just stuff. What the new parents need is a doula. A birth experience is a memory that women and their partners hold onto for the rest of their lives. Instead of registering somewhere, send friends/family of the new parents to our website, and we would be happy to add money to the cost of their doula investment. Heck, we could even give out coupons!

3) Compromise- There is likely something you can give up or adjust for a few months. Latte’s, movies, eating out… These things are all not cheap. Sit down and work out how much excess spending cash you do actually use a month; you would be amazed at how much you could save if you limited these! First a doula, then a jet ski, then maybe a bigger house…

4) Barter- I’ve done a little bartering from time to time. I did a free placenta encapsulation for a birth doula client after her husband spruced up my website. It was a win/win! Some ideas…

Photography
Website design
Custom furniture
Auto repair
Plumbing Services

5) Sell things- Almost all of us have some items lying around (or hidden way back in the garage) that we no longer like, use or want. Chuck them up on a bidding site or Craigslist and get some cash for those dust collectors!

Hiring a doula really isn’t a “dream” as some like to think. It’s easily achievable with a little effort, and once you look into the actual benefits of how incredible the support a doula offers can be- (check that out here) you won’t even need to think twice about ordering that next Starbucks.

“Why are doulas expensive?’

April 16, 2015

I’m often asked why a doula is “So Expensive” And I suppose if you have never broken down the pieces or really know how much time is involved maybe you would think that. Ridge Meadows Doula Services Charges $1200. Here is a breakdown of our expenses.

Consultation/Interview- we consider this free, we are willing to share as much time with you as you need to ensure you get a good idea of who we are. We explain our philosophy, the advantages of a doula, our experience, our beliefs on birth and we let you see a part of our sparkling personalities. When we are hired we give you immediate phone and email support. Some families email every day, this is great— it helps build our relationship.

Prenatal #1– This is a 2-hour commitment with 2 doulas, the birther and her partner. We learn how the pregnancy has been going, how involved your partner wants to be, we build a birth plan in detail, we talk about the ins and out of a hospital or home birth and we go through our doula bag.

Prenatal #2– This is also a 2-hour commitment with 2 doulas. We explore your hopes and fears of births and work through them individually. We go over and practice comfort measures and teach you how to use our tens machine. Then we remind you to switch gears, we talk about after baby is born… Freezer meals, guests or no guests, breastfeeding etc.

The birth– For RMDS there is no right or wrong time to call us, it is when you need us.

Sometimes we come over, tuck you in and read on your couch.

Sometimes we come over and once everyone is settled we fall asleep also.

Sometimes we hook up the tens machine and remind you of the birth you are wanting.

Sometimes we come over and we start massaging and hip squeezing right away.

Sometimes you are rocking it on your own and we remind you of it.

Sometimes we meet you at the hospital.

Sometimes we come and start setting up the birth pool right away.

When we are there we support you for as many hours as needed. We have had births in 4 hours and births in 50 hours. We don’t leave right when a baby will be born, so we plan for the long haul. When we plan we arrange childcare, throw a meal in the slow cooker, we miss soccer practices, doula night outs, birthdays with friends and families. It’s our life. Our phone is on and we go to bed early, we skip the glass of wine, we make sure our car has gas and we have our doula bag by the front door. This is the doula life. And this is part of the job.

Postpartum Visit- This visit is many things. We often talk about and celebrate the birth. We help with breastfeeding, teach you first bathing techniques if needed, let you shower while we hold baby. We don’t expect a cup of tea, heck, we will get YOU a cup of tea. We want to connect, support, and encourage you. This takes time, 2 hours-ish.

So yes, doulas are expensive, even after all the hours we are with our clients we go out and we spend our money educating ourselves by taking additional workshops and classes.

Why do we do it? Because we love it because we believe every woman deserves to have informed choice, because birth matters!

Happy Birthing, Nicole

What does a doula bring to a birth with her?

April 9, 2015

What does a doula bring to a birth with her?

We arrive to a birth supplied with a whole shlew of items to help us help a birthing woman. Sometimes, we use every single item. Sometimes, we use nothing but ourselves.

There are definitely a few go-to items that are incredibly handy:

Essential oils. Particularly lavender, peppermint and orange. They help to relieve tension, control emotion and provide distraction.

Massage tools. Most often these are our hands, as well as the partner’s or birthing buddy’s hands. Though we do have some tools to help out if hands aren’t quite enough, as well as some massage oil and lotion.

Food. Birth is a big event that requires sustenance! Energy rich, nourishing snacks and healthy drinks like coconut water take up nearly half of my birth bag.

Battery operated candles. These help create a nice ambiance in hospital rooms, as well as are a safe option to not have to think about burning someone’s house down while they’re home birthing.

Rebozo. This is a fancy name for a handwoven scarf that is used in a series of techniques for relieving tension and providing comfort. They are a gorgeous addition to the dynamic of the birthing room, and something to concentrate your attention on while you’re birthing.

Hot water bottle/heat pack. Birthing woman love warm sensation. Heat is a great way to relieve tension and distract from a wave.

Phone charger. Birth sometimes takes a while, which is totally normal. I like having a full charge so I have access to the resources stored on my phone that I may need.

Change or a Visa . Hospital parking is blinking expensive sometimes! We come prepared!

Change of socks. Nobody likes smelly feet; Especially not pregnant women. In addition, gum and mints are also abundance.

(For me, Erin, in particular) breast pump & cooler. One of the reasons I am so good with Breastfeeding support, is because I am actively participating in it haha. I pump at intervals when I am not needed during a birth so I have milk to supply my littlest with when I get home.

A tens machine (read more about them here)

These are just some of the things we at Ridge Meadows Doula Services all carry, but every doula is a bit different depending on what their particular strengths are. At the end of the day, our desire to support is the best tool we possess.

Happy Birthing, Erin

25 things you didn’t know about Nicole

March 13, 2015

1- Last year I went gluten and dairy free because my daughter was diagnosed with Celiac Disease (I feel amazing!)

2- at only 5’1 I play co-ed volleyball 2-3 times a week 3- I’m American, born in Indiana

4-I proposed to my husband and he took my last name

5-I was married in April because I love Cherry Blossoms

6- A good cup of coffee can solve just about anything

7- I’m a children who witness abuse counsellor in my other job

8-I’m a certified car seat technician

9- My mother-in-law lives with us and we get along!!

10- There is often a concert happening in my living room, my daughter and husband will be in a band one day, I just know it!

11- We have a Labradoodle puppy named Luna

12- I am a new age hippie (or that’s what my husband calls me) I like to garden, make tinctures and salves and try and heal most illnesses with homeopathics, herbs or Essential Oils.

13- I’m a beach gal, give me warm sand and an ocean any day.

14-My daughter was born at 42 weeks, induced and born in a hospital (we had planned for a home birth)

15- I collect buttons, all shapes and sizes. For what you ask? I don’t know yet!

16- I love beets, pickled beets, beet salad, roasted beets, beets in smoothies… Any and all ways

17-I breastfed my daughter for 31 months. It got easier, but the first 6 weeks I didn’t know if I would continue at all.

18- I LOVE placentas. Really! Before I process them, I stare at the complexities of the veins. They are referred to as the tree of life and I truly value the placenta as the life line.

19- I had cervical cancer in 2011 and had a hysterectomy in 2012.

20- I have a mad addiction to Grey’s Anatomy… Who’s idea was it to put a dozen seasons on Netflix?!

21- I could spend any sunny afternoon in the back yard with my husband, daughter and dog. Gardening, playing soccer, climbing the apple tree and giggling.

22-My husband is an actor and I spend many, many, many evenings watching improv.

23- I am not afraid to speak up, be an advocate or voice my concern when needed.

24- I want to feed my family as natural and organic as I can, but ice-cream (yes, im dairy free…. mostly) is my weakness.

25- I find peace in mandalas. I love them so much I have a tattoo on one on my shoulder (and 3 other tattoos!)