birth – Page 4

Baby Loss Awareness Day

October 14, 2013

October 15th is baby Loss Awareness Day. It’s a day that may be unheard of to many of you. For me it is a day to think, remember and grieve.

January 11th 2010 was the most amazing life changing day for me as this is the day my daughter Mia was brought earthside. Hours before in the same room I birthed in, my best friend had birthed her son. A healthy 7lbs 10oz baby boy named Colin. Sadly, he died, on the same day of his birth and the same day Mia was born. This is my story.

Leah and I both had struggles with conceiving. Nearly 2 years later I was finally pregnant, the following month Leah was pregnant. 2 best friends with their children due a month apart. This was the beginning of maternity clothes shopping, creating delicious non-alcoholic drinks, researching, reading and baby clothes shopping. Because we learned I was having a girl (Mia) and she was having a boy (Colin) naturally we planned our future with a running joke of an arranged marriage or at least our children would be best friends forever.

When I was 2 weeks late and about to be induced the following morning, I got news Leah was in the hospital in labour. I thought this was funny because I had bugged her about wishing she would birth first and tell me what it was like. We rushed to the hospital and brought her a few things, gave her a hug and went home and *tried* to sleep. Mostly I laid in bed thinking of Leah in labour and the fact that our little babes could be born on the same day.

January 11th 2010, I woke up and got ready to meet my little girl. I had moments of anxiety because I had not heard from Leah. I put it off and thought maybe she was having a long labour. We got to the hospital and I was put in the same room Leah had been in. This was odd to me because I still hadn`t heard from Leah. I put it out of my mind as I had work to do—- birth.

Mia was born in the early evening. I was moved into another room and after we settled in, snuggled our little blessing and celebrated Mia`s birth Jonathan looked at me with wide eyes. He had heard that Colin had passed away a few hours after his birth and now he had to tell me, that my best friends baby was dead…. This was one of the hardest conversations we have had. I wanted to see Leah, I wanted to see Colin, I wanted to cry, I wanted to hold Mia. It was a mix of emotions and I had a hard time determining what emotion was going to come out at any given moment. Leah (the strongest woman I know) came and visited me on January 12th before we took Mia home. Even through the tears of myself and our husbands, Leah managed to look at Mia and tell her how beautiful she was and that she now has an angel watching over her.

Over the next days, weeks, months and years the mourning of my little nephew that died from doctor error became more manageable. He is a member of our family and we talk about him with Mia. She knows she has a birth mark on her knee and it we call it a kiss from Colin before he went to Heaven. We celebrate his birthday and we will never forget. Infant loss will always be hard, but parents and family member need to know that the baby is not forgotten.

For others involved—- offer a tear, a hug, love, listen, learn, cry and never forget.

Books

August 16, 2013

I’m on holidays trying to relax, spend time with family and enjoy…. But at night I need a little birthing fix. My new obsession is my kindle app on my iPhone. It’s easy to use, I get a little birthy read in and I’m good until the next evening.

I’ve found free books on amazon. Right now I have…

“Parenting with Love and Logic” (Fay, Jim; Cline, MD, Foster)

“In search of the Perfect Birth” (McKeown, Elizabeth)

And “Birth Book” (Sarah and Steve Blight)

What books are you reading?

Have you liked my Facebook page?
https://www.facebook.com/RidgeMeadowsDoulaServices?ref=stream

My Birth Story

July 23, 2013

As a doula, I look back on my birth and dream of what it could have been. I know my birth experience was the way it was for many reasons. The day it happened, the time of day, the reason I had a hospital birth and not a home birth and the people I had with me were all sequenced that way on purpose.

My birth story has many chapters, but today I will keep in short. One day I am sure I will dive into the details.

My daughter was due December 30th 2009, but fitting to Mia’s personality, she took her own sweet time and was encouraged (via Pitocin) to be born on January 11th. I chose this day because the midwife I was most connected with was on call and if I was going to have a hospital birth and not a home birth, I wanted people around me I was comfortable with. Along with Sylvia I had my husband, friend Jenn and my mother-in-law.

I was induced shortly after 8am, was able to walk around a short time and then things started moving around noon. My husband was on massage duty and was applying pressure to my hips (now trained as a doula I know he was applying a double hip squeeze) as I had a contraction. My support person had just birthed her 3rd child at home 6 months prior and knew exactly what I needed before I knew it. I had a cold cloth on my face, neck and forehead between waves and sips of water and “labour aide” given to my from a straw while I rested between contractions. PS- This really is only good cold! My mother-in-law was encouraging everyone to eat and making sure all the hospital staff were doing their best work, she demanded informed choices and for me to be part of the decision making process. My body just knew what to do. I pushed when I needed to push, I rested when I needed to rest. Not once was I checked by my midwife, she encouraged me to listen to my body. At around 2pm Sylvia (my midwife) told me I was already pushing… I had no idea, I was just in the zone. This is when I asked to be checked….. being a first time birther, I was starting to get nervous about pushing, anxious to birth and excited to meet my daughter. being an experienced midwife, Sylvia was right. I was 10cm dilated and ready to push. 4 hours later I was still pushing and still on Pitocin, baby was doing ok, but I was really beat.

This is where everything happened so fast, the pitocin machine was beeping, something strange was happening and it was not giving the proper dosage and my pushing was not as effective. Suddenly there was an OBGYN in the room with team. I consented to the vacuum. A large difference from the serene home birth I had planned. Being educated on the subject I knew the fact that I was essentially strapped to the bed and already having the intervention of Induction along with pushing for 4 hours the likelihood of the vacuum, forceps or caesarean were increasing. In moments, the vacuum was on, baby was born, the cord was cut (little delayed cord clamping) and the OBGYN flew out like a flash leaving Mia with me.

Mia was on my chest, I cried, Jonathan cried,my support person cried, the Midwife had a happy smirk and my mother-in-law was doing her best not to cry. Mia was born… healthy, alert and perfect. January 11th 2010.

I had a long amount of skin to skin with Mia as well as breastfeeding initiation within the first hour… 2 key points on the crumpled up, re-wrote birth plan I really wanted.

Are there things I would have changed, sure. But I made informed choices along the way… There was no coercion or fear. I knew my body was amazing and I knew by baby was coming out of my vagina.

Business cards are in!

July 20, 2013

Woohoo! my business cards are in. Now to share with friends, co-workers and the local midwifery.

I’m not in love with them but they are good for a first timer business owner. next time I’d likely make the font a bit bigger and lose the grey (hard to read). The positives are my logo rocks! Who wants one?

Attachment Parenting by guest blogger Kristy Y

July 20, 2013

I asked Kristy to share a few things about her parenting style with a Q and A style blog post. Kristy has been a big support and a reminder of why our family chose to parent the way we are, gentle parenting, vaccines, breastfeeding and babywearing are all topics I have gone to Kristy for her point of view. Our families are entirely different– a big difference is I am a mother of 1 and Kristy is a mother of 9 and a grandmother to 1. Even though I have not met Kristy in person I feel blessed to have her in my life, she is constantly reinforcing my decisions with evidence based information and a caring heart. check out her Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/LittleGreenEarthlings

attachment parenting: noun

a style of child rearing aimed at developing a strong emotional bond between the child and primary caregiver.

Would you consider yourself an attachment parent?

-Yes—— While I do consider myself an attached parent, I am also human. I am not a robot and therefore I also have emotions. I can lose my temper. I yell. I always tell my children that I am in a bad mood for whatever reason and if I am snarky with them I apologize for my behavior. We need to be good examples to our children. If we treat them how we would like to be treated, everything will be ok. Love, compassion, patience, empathy, understanding and fun make a good recipe for raising wonderful humans

What does attachment parenting mean to you?

– I am very emotionally and physically attached to my kids. I have evolved SOOOOO much as a parent over the (almost) 23 years that I have been a mother. It’s amazing the amount I have had to UN-learn! When my oldest daughter was a baby, she was born in the hospital and taken to the nursery during the night. I was told to only feed every 4 hours and supplement with formula so she would get everything she needed. As she got a bit older, in order to train her to sleep through the night I was advised to let her cry. ……. Alone…….. In her room

Sadly I did what our doctor and parents recommended and I STILL feel the guilt. It is so disturbing that we are still taught by some old school thinkers out there NOT to trust our natural animal instincts!

When I had my second child I knew that I did NOT want to do that to her. She slept in my arms from day 1. She didn’t touch a bottle in the hospital. I listened to her and responded to what she needed. She was happy and content.

With each child after, (I birthed 9 babies) I learned more and more to let go of societies expectations and to tune in to what my babies were expressing to me. THEY are my priority. It has taken a long time and I am nowhere perfect…….I am human………

Babies have feelings that matter JUST AS MUCH as adults. Children have feelings that matter JUST AS MUCH as adults. I truly believe that their feelings need to be put first and we need to respect the feelings they have whether it makes sense to us or not. If a child is frightened about something that makes no sense to us, we need to comfort that child rather than brush it off and dismiss them.

have you like Our Facebook Page? https://www.facebook.com/RidgeMeadowsDoulaServices