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Welcome to First Grade

September 8, 2016

 

Wait until they get to first grade they say…..

“It will get easier”,

“You will love the break”,

“Watching your child grow is so amazing”,

“They grow in the blink of an eye”,

“When did they get so big”

As I navigate the path of a parent of a first grader these were comments I heard in the months and weeks leading up to September. And guess what!? I don’t care…. I’m over here in the corner of the gym as the kids madly dash around in chaos trying not to cry. Yup, I was teary in Kindergarten and now I’m teary for first grade. It’s not that I don’t agree with many of the comments stated, it is simple the fact that my heart has so much love for this tiny human and my brain was going wild with all the “what ifs”.  What if my daughter be behind in reading or writing and her self esteem suffers? What the new teacher doesn’t have the core value of attachment or understand child development as well as her teacher last year? Will she have the sense of community she left kindergarten with last year? Continue to build strong relationships with peers?

Don’t get me wrong; I also felt happy, proud and excited as well, but the grief was the emotion that I was feeling the strongest.

My rational side knows my child has a good foundation, she is kind and funny and has already chose some pretty solids friends who’s families thankfully have similar values to us. I know my daughter will not be the best at everything and that is okay too. She will learn from it and try again.  My rational side remembers the fear and excitement I had in school and the love I had for many of my early teachers. And also, my bad ass mothering side knows I will advocate for my daughter and encourage her to advocate for herself and her education.

 

Categories : Parenting Tagged : first grade, maple ridge, parenting, Pitt meadows

No, I’m not excited about Kindergarten- A parents perspective.

September 2, 2015

Kindergarten was a day I dreamed of when my little one was 2, 3, 4 years old.. But now that she is 5, and on her way so soon… I’m not excited. My head is filled with many rational (and many irrational) thoughts. For a while I smiled and pretended Kindergarten was going to be a great place for my child to learn and socialize.   Now my daughters fears are my fears and as a parent I feel helpless.  Will I get her to school on time? Will she eat her lunch? Will she get to the toilet on time? I know many children for many years have manged…. (now I’m back to my rational side). many kids cry in the beginning and a few weeks or months later they cry when a parent comes to pick them up because they don’t want to leave. Rationally I know this. I mean heck, my child has gone to daycare and preschool and excelled at both. Why is kindergarten different?

As I asked my other Mom friends it turned out we all had this eternal struggle we were all hiding. All pushing aside our emotions as we bought school clothes, bought new lunch kits and searched for the few last minute school items. When we started talking about it, there were tears and fears… From the adults. We all worry if our child will be liked by peers and teachers, will our child be a bully or be too passive and overlooked. Will they eat their lunch, run outside of the school boundaries on the playground or cry for me all day.

I’m thankful I have woman to talk to to make this transition for a parent easier. Our fears are not irrational, they are feelings and they are REAL and are VALUABLE.

J and N

 

On the day we signed up my daughter for Kindergarten we documented with an image of us, 2 parents navigating the new life of a school aged child. Kindergarten is a big step for children, but also as parents. I know in weeks and months to come I will embrace Kindergarten and probably learn to love it just as my 5 year old will. But in the mean time, I am ok with feeling uncertain and it will help me remember my daughter may be insecure, and her feelings are real too.

Categories : Life, Parenting Tagged : kindergarten, Maple Ridge Doula, parenting, parents., pitt meadows doula, tri-cities doula

Research Shows The Effectiveness of Doulas

July 15, 2015

A 2011 study from the Cochrane Collaboration Pregnancy and Childbirth Group showed clear evidence for the effectiveness of doulas in creating positive birth outcomes.

Hiring a doula is part of creating a birth you are happy with, asking questions, trusting your care provider and informed consent are all pieces to the pie. Research does indicate…

 

 

 

 

fewer medical interventions
less vacuum/forcep delivery
less analgesic use
less Cesarean Births
report more positive birth experience

Categories : Doula Tagged : abbotsford doula., babies, birth, coquitlam doula, DONA, maple ridge, Maple Ridge Doula, mapleridge, Nicole chambers, parenting, pitt meadows doula, pittmeadows, PLACENTA, placenta encapsulation, placenta Encapsulation Pitt Meadows, ridge meadows, surrey doula, tri-cities doula, vancouver doula

Keeping your cool as a parent (being PROACTIVE)

June 17, 2015

 

When dealing with misbehaviors (either your own or your child’s) you basically have two choices on how to handle them.  Reactive or proactive.

 

Choice number 1:  reactive.  Being reactive is the gut reaction that we have when we feel that a situation is spiraling out of control. That we are at the end of our rope.  That we just can’t take this one more second!!!   It’s screaming, yelling, making demands that may be unreasonable or certainly requested in an unreasonable way.  It’s using punitive punishments like time out or taking away privileges that may or may not have anything to do with the actual circumstances.   Now if your Mommy guilt is in overdrive after reading that, and you think you are going to do or say something reactive, fear not!  We’ve all be there and we’ve all done it.  The trick is to stop being reactive and move towards choice number 2…

 

Choice number 2: Being proactive is all about making a plan.  Could be a mental plan, (note to self, kind of a thing) but I’ve seen parents sit down and actually write it out.  It’s thinking ahead and putting knowledge into how and why we are addressing with the misbehavior.

 

So a simple plan might look like this:

 

1. figure out what the misbehavior is that you want to change.  (what are the unmet needs?)

2. decide on what your end goal is.  (hint: to change the misbehavior long term) **Be aware of his developmental stage and try to make sure that your expectations are appropriate for that age

3. think of ways that you can teach your child that will really mean something to him. For example, if your child is a visual learner maybe a social story or pictures will help him to really understand what your expectations are or what is socially acceptable.

4. put it into practice

5. keep doing it. be consistent.  Your plan might not work right away, because let’s face it, any behavior takes a while to change.  Or you might need to tweak your plan to make it more effective, but try to stay with it.

 

There are a lot of reasons to be proactive with your child’s misbehavior.  It helps children with self regulation which is a fancy term that means;  to identify, understand and appropriately meet their own needs.  It helps them to draw on and cultivate their natural empathy and sympathy.  And each time they navigate a situation in an suitable way and encounter success,  it gives them higher self confidence and self esteem .

 

Interestingly enough the definition of insanity (according to Albert Einstein) is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  So if being reactive is not working or only working in the short term you might want to try being proactive.  One step ahead of a reoccurring situation.  It takes time, it takes commitment, it takes all of your supermom powers but once the goal is reached it’s well worth the effort.

 

Sandra and her decades of Early Childhood experience is often seen as Nicole’s side kick in parenting classes. She has an extensive knowledge on child development, behaviours and discipline. When Sandra is not teaching she can be found knitting all the cute baby hats you doula clients find in your swag bags.

Categories : Parenting Tagged : birth, doula, maple ridge, Maple Ridge Doula, parenting, parenting support maple ridge, pitt meadows doula, pregnant, proactive parenting

What your child is LEARNING while playing outside

May 22, 2015

 

Getting outside is super simple when it is summer or hot and the weather is just right. Opening the back door and letting the kids explore, make a mess, paint, run, jump, sing is all spring/summer expectation. But what are your children learning while they are outside? For me once I learned and really mindfully thought about all the skills my child was gaining, we decided playing outside was not just for warm weather. We bundle up, put on our rain gear and just have fun (and LEARN!)

I hope this post helps educate parents and adults, but also encourages you adults to take off your shoes, run though the sprinkler, jump on the trampoline or do some gardening. There is so much evidence below and everyone can grow and learn.

dirt

 

My child likes pink, barbies, twirly dresses and DIRT. Yup, mud pies, cakes, toes, hands feet and all in the DIRT. Many studies have shown dirt to be good for your brain? Apparently, there are types of bacteria that are naturally found in soil which activate the neurons that produce serotonin – a key chemical in many bodily functions. So really DIRT makes people happier, it’s science.

 

Indy truck

 

 

Being in nature helps stimulate the curiosity and creativity of children. Do you know what a dump truck can be used for? Spend 30 minutes and you will see how many tasks that tiny yellow truck can have.

 

get outside- animal

 

The more we spend outside with my daughter the more I notice her compassion. She is so observant of any part of nature, plants, flowers, animals. But recently she is noticing litter. She get’s really wound up when she sees trash on the ground. She picks it up and is already a tiny environmentalist who is set on not leaving mother earth with crap all around.
trampoline

 

Bouncing on a trampoline is more than just for gross motor it increases blood flow to the brain and heightens mental alertness.

 

get outside rain

 

 

Problem solving skills- When my daughter and I were running through this puddle repeatedly she was determining the best path, where we could safely stay dry and where to best splash zone was. She was a leader in this activity guiding me though the rain.

outside 2

 

Do you know what happens when you are barefoot? Research indicates that electrons from the Earth have antioxidant effects that can protect your body from inflammation and its many well-documented health consequences. For most of our evolutionary history, humans have had continuous contact with the Earth.  Read more here

 

outside 4

 

 

Green outdoor settings appear to reduce ADHD symptoms in children across a wide range of individual, residential, and case characteristics Said this study.

 

outside 5

 

Playing outside increases flexibility for children (and adults, this wobbly thing is tricky!)

 

outside

 

Playing outside can can help protect children against stress, according to a new study by two Cornell University environmental psychologist.  Check out the study published in  Environment and Behavior.
get outside- parent exercise

 

 

Parents can use their time to build massive biceps, or at least have fun getting active.

 

outside 6

 

 

Playing outside has many benefits for the eyes. Recent evidence says children who play outside are less likely to have myopia (nearsighted). Help your child by NOTICING. Point out the pine cone, stick, pretty flower and pretty soon they will be pointing them out to you.

 

outside swing

 

When a child was on a swing they engage core muscles as well as muscles in the hand and arms to hold on. This teaches balance and coordination.

 

outside D

 

Bikes and scooters that requite balance teach children new skills and self confidence. A bike is something they start off with as a trike and then those skills can grow with them and their confidence also expands. Hold your breath parents because there will be some blood and tears, but they keep on getting back on and then you get to see the smile on their face when they have mastered the skill.

Categories : Life, Uncategorized Tagged : abbotsford doula., babies, baby. pregnancy, benefits of outside play, birth, dirt, doula, maple ridge, Maple Ridge Doula, Nicole chambers, outside, parenting, Pitt meadows, placenta Encapsulation Pitt Meadows, play, port moody doula, ridge meadows, surrey doula, vancouver doula

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