doula

24 hours after your birth- a DOULA’s perspective

December 14, 2015

A doula’s life is pretty action packed. It’s full of emotions and hormones, physical exertion and sleep deprivation, skill and mental preparation. But what happens after a doula goes home? How does a doula recuperate, nourish her soul and take care of herself…. It’s a skill that takes time and seasoned doulas are much better at this aspect of the job description. So how does a doula bounce back after a birth so she can best support her next client?

Coffee- For me a good cup of coffee after a sleep makes me feel better. I have to make sure it’s not a sugar filled syrup-y drink or I surely will sugar crash later.

Spending time outside. Part of nourishing you soul is spending time outside. Breathing in fresh air, getting a little vitamin D, feeling the wind or sun on your face is all part of taking care of yourself.

Spend some time with your friends either in person or on the phone. Remember the world is more than birth. A challenge for birth workers is only spending time with other birth workers and only talking birth. While chatting about birth is something that doulas are really interested in its not healthy to ONLY talk birth. Call a friend and ask about her kids, chat about the weather, current events or a new recipe… Heck, invite your friend to go on a walk, meet for coffee or come over. Anything that encourages you to stretch you mind.

Water, lots and lots of water.

Relax. After I’m finished at a birth I like to come home, plug in my diffuser and smell a scent that makes me feel good. The scent is often changing, but this has became part of my post birth routine.

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Lastly, visit your client postpartum. Talk about the birth, help with breastfeeding, share some postpartum baby advice and connect with the family you spend many many hours supporting. Closure is so important.

Birth pool rentals

August 20, 2015

Ridge Meadows Doula Services now has an Aquaborn birth pool for our home birthing clients for only $175 additional to your doula fee. These pools are the highest quality inflatables available on the market and made from strong, durable eco-vinyl. With 6 handles it gives more position choices than ever before, and a white non-slip bottom ensures optimum safety and visibility. To achieve buoyancy in water and allow easy movement between positions, 21″ of water depth is required. the Aquaborn Eco Birth Pool a little deeper so that your waist can stay in the water even when you want to lean over the pool.

Pool Rentals includes

Pool Instructions

Air Pump

Tarp

Tap Adapter

Submersible pump

The best part about hiring Ridge Meadows Doula Services is we will clean up after the birth, put a load of laundry in, change your sheets, tuck you in and make sure you and your partner are fed. Set up and take down the birth pool are included leaving your house seemingly clean shortly after you have a baby. (And doula clients get a discount on pool rentals)

Keeping your cool as a parent (being PROACTIVE)

June 17, 2015

When dealing with misbehaviors (either your own or your child’s) you basically have two choices on how to handle them. Reactive or proactive.

Choice number 1: reactive. Being reactive is the gut reaction that we have when we feel that a situation is spiraling out of control. That we are at the end of our rope. That we just can’t take this one more second!!! It’s screaming, yelling, making demands that may be unreasonable or certainly requested in an unreasonable way. It’s using punitive punishments like time out or taking away privileges that may or may not have anything to do with the actual circumstances. Now if your Mommy guilt is in overdrive after reading that, and you think you are going to do or say something reactive, fear not! We’ve all be there and we’ve all done it. The trick is to stop being reactive and move towards choice number 2…

Choice number 2: Being proactive is all about making a plan. Could be a mental plan, (note to self, kind of a thing) but I’ve seen parents sit down and actually write it out. It’s thinking ahead and putting knowledge into how and why we are addressing with the misbehavior.

So a simple plan might look like this:

1. figure out what the misbehavior is that you want to change. (what are the unmet needs?)

2. decide on what your end goal is. (hint: to change the misbehavior long term) **Be aware of his developmental stage and try to make sure that your expectations are appropriate for that age

3. think of ways that you can teach your child that will really mean something to him. For example, if your child is a visual learner maybe a social story or pictures will help him to really understand what your expectations are or what is socially acceptable.

4. put it into practice

5. keep doing it. be consistent. Your plan might not work right away, because let’s face it, any behavior takes a while to change. Or you might need to tweak your plan to make it more effective, but try to stay with it.

There are a lot of reasons to be proactive with your child’s misbehavior. It helps children with self regulation which is a fancy term that means; to identify, understand and appropriately meet their own needs. It helps them to draw on and cultivate their natural empathy and sympathy. And each time they navigate a situation in an suitable way and encounter success, it gives them higher self confidence and self esteem .

Interestingly enough the definition of insanity (according to Albert Einstein) is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. So if being reactive is not working or only working in the short term you might want to try being proactive. One step ahead of a reoccurring situation. It takes time, it takes commitment, it takes all of your supermom powers but once the goal is reached it’s well worth the effort.

Sandra and her decades of Early Childhood experience is often seen as Nicole’s side kick in parenting classes. She has an extensive knowledge on child development, behaviours and discipline. When Sandra is not teaching she can be found knitting all the cute baby hats you doula clients find in your swag bags.

What your child is LEARNING while playing outside

May 22, 2015

Getting outside is super simple when it is summer or hot and the weather is just right. Opening the back door and letting the kids explore, make a mess, paint, run, jump, sing is all spring/summer expectation. But what are your children learning while they are outside? For me once I learned and really mindfully thought about all the skills my child was gaining, we decided playing outside was not just for warm weather. We bundle up, put on our rain gear and just have fun (and LEARN!)

I hope this post helps educate parents and adults, but also encourages you adults to take off your shoes, run though the sprinkler, jump on the trampoline or do some gardening. There is so much evidence below and everyone can grow and learn.

My child likes pink, barbies, twirly dresses and DIRT. Yup, mud pies, cakes, toes, hands feet and all in the DIRT. Many studies have shown dirt to be good for your brain? Apparently, there are types of bacteria that are naturally found in soil which activate the neurons that produce serotonin – a key chemical in many bodily functions. So really DIRT makes people happier, it’s science.

Being in nature helps stimulate the curiosity and creativity of children. Do you know what a dump truck can be used for? Spend 30 minutes and you will see how many tasks that tiny yellow truck can have.

The more we spend outside with my daughter the more I notice her compassion. She is so observant of any part of nature, plants, flowers, animals. But recently she is noticing litter. She get’s really wound up when she sees trash on the ground. She picks it up and is already a tiny environmentalist who is set on not leaving mother earth with crap all around.

Bouncing on a trampoline is more than just for gross motor it increases blood flow to the brain and heightens mental alertness.

Problem solving skills- When my daughter and I were running through this puddle repeatedly she was determining the best path, where we could safely stay dry and where to best splash zone was. She was a leader in this activity guiding me though the rain.

Do you know what happens when you are barefoot? Research indicates that electrons from the Earth have antioxidant effects that can protect your body from inflammation and its many well-documented health consequences. For most of our evolutionary history, humans have had continuous contact with the Earth. Read more here

Green outdoor settings appear to reduce ADHD symptoms in children across a wide range of individual, residential, and case characteristics Said this study.

Playing outside increases flexibility for children (and adults, this wobbly thing is tricky!)

Playing outside can can help protect children against stress, according to a new study by two Cornell University environmental psychologist. Check out the study published in Environment and Behavior.

Parents can use their time to build massive biceps, or at least have fun getting active.

Playing outside has many benefits for the eyes. Recent evidence says children who play outside are less likely to have myopia (nearsighted). Help your child by NOTICING. Point out the pine cone, stick, pretty flower and pretty soon they will be pointing them out to you.

When a child was on a swing they engage core muscles as well as muscles in the hand and arms to hold on. This teaches balance and coordination.

Bikes and scooters that requite balance teach children new skills and self confidence. A bike is something they start off with as a trike and then those skills can grow with them and their confidence also expands. Hold your breath parents because there will be some blood and tears, but they keep on getting back on and then you get to see the smile on their face when they have mastered the skill.

There is ALWAYS a reason for your child’s behaviour

May 20, 2015

I often hear in parenting classes “My child had a temper tantrum for no reason” or “Every time I get on the phone my kid is pulling on me” “My kid won’t put her shoes on when we have to go” Often as parents we can see the BEHAVIOUR (tantrums, crying, screaming, pinching…) and then we discipline (time out, take away toys, lecture) Often parents don’t see the WHY. What is the antecedent for the behaviour, WHY are they doing it?

When we say “behaviour” we are really asking: is it willful? Willful implies that the child knows what he did and made a conscious decision to act that way, or that the behavior is within the child’s control. Believing that a behavior is willful implies that the child meant to do it. (Murray-Slutzky and Paris 2005)

*So when you are witnessing or attempting to resolve a child’s behavior remember the ABC’s.

A Antecedent (why?)

B Behavior

C Consequence

Most people forget to consider step “A” and move right into addressing the behavior which results in a consequence or punishment which may or may not be effective long term. The goal is to have the child experience an emotion which will help them to understand why the behavior is inappropriate.

I want you all to stop for a moment and look back. Look back at the last tantrum and try and figure out WHY. There is ALWAYS a reason (attention, power, feeling inadequate (helpless), revenge, hunger, sleepy…) These are sometimes hard to see, sometimes takes a trained eye, but you will soon start to notice the WHY and be PROACTIVE.