So way, way back in July (or June) Nicole asked me to do a little blog for her on the importance of routines. Since I wasn’t in the routine of being a guest blogger, I came up with a few reasons why I couldn’t do it, and when all else failed, I ignored her. Now if you know anything about Nicole, you know she doesn’t do ‘ignore’. So last week I found myself in possession of yet another email requesting I get on it and get guest blogging.
So I found myself in the position of actually thinking through routines and why they are important to us. And actually that not only are they important, but a requirement for stability within a person and a home.
I think that some people baulk at the idea of a routine as they believe it will take away their freedom, their creativity and their independence. Routines will make us un-flexible, make our lives boring, creating a monotonous existence that will numb our minds and cause us to be a little like the stepford wives.
In actuality, just the opposite is true.
To begin with, most of us already have routines in our lives. We rise and go to bed roughly at the same time every day. We have a hygiene routine and a routine to nourish our bodies.
Whether we work at home or out of the home we have our routines. Another reason to establish routines is that they provide emotional safety for children (and adults too). We are all better at attempting new challenges (from children learning to tie their shoes to adults beginning a new job) when the regular routine is reliable. Generally speaking we handle change best within the framework of well-known routines, which allow us flexibility but keeps the expectations consistent. This means, “no surprises”, and that help us all to manage our thoughts and emotions, which empowers us to take control of ourselves and our environment.
Routines work in our lives from eliminating power struggles with your children to getting your children to cooperate. We all know “what comes next” and so it becomes habitual. No one feels, overpowered, disregarded or pushed around.
Daily, weekly, monthly and even yearly routines guide our lives and provide consistency, which enables us to live with harmony and security. And just so you know, I was reading the other day about artists. Even the most creative of them need to start by mastering the standards of the past and learning the rules of art composition. Only after the rules have been mastered and the artist feels safe within the structure of traditional visual artwork, can he stretch his wings and be his most creative. And so it is with us and our children. We are the very best we can be when we have a routine that helps us to know and understand the rules that keep us grounded and in control of ourselves. After that creativity, freedom and independence abound! So don’t be afraid of routines: embrace them. You’ll be glad you did!
The talented Sandra Deutsmann is local to Maple Ridge and Pitt meadows area and has been teaching Parents and Parenting classes for many years. When she’s not facilitating Parenting Programs she can be found singing, dancing or chanting overtop of crying babies and bouncing new mothers at her Parent Child Mother Goose Programs . She not only has a voice of an angel but she has a very experienced non-judgemental approach to parenting that has been desired from many parents in the community.
